Monday, January 7

I'm fine, really....

Do you remember this conversation from The Italian Job?
John Bridger: How are you?
Charlie Croker: [shrugging] I'm fine.
John Bridger: Fine? You know what "fine" stands for, don't you?
Charlie Croker: Unfortunately, yeah.
John Bridger: Freaked out...
Charlie Croker: Insecure...
John Bridger: Neurotic...Charlie Croker: And Emotional.

That's how I'm feeling right now- FINE. I am starting school again tonight after about a 6 year absence, and then I was a part time student. I haven't been a full time student for as long as I can remember. I think it was when I lived in Cedar City in the mid 90's and my main reason for being there was school. Now I'm jumping back in full time and I'm having some serious anxiety! I can't believe I'm so freaked out about it. I'm not even quite sure why I'm so nervous but I have an upset stomach, knots in my neck, and I'm pretty sure I was clenching my jaw in my sleep last night because it is sore this morning. Aaaack!

I've been trying to figure out why I'm so nervous about the whole thing, I'm an adult for crying out loud, I shouldn't be this jittery! Obviously I'm worried about doing well. My study habits are a bit rusty so there is that to consider. I have never been really good at managing my time so I'm worried about working full time and being in school full time. I have also been very spoiled in the fact that I have had my leisure time to do what I want, when I want. I'm not going to have that anymore. That is going to be really hard for me.

Ok, I'm rambling..... I'll just do some deep breathing and try to relax.

2 comments:

Carrie said...

It's all good, you'll do great. Don't let those snot-nosed little "I graduated in 2007" kids scare you. I mean, you lived through the 80's and they didn't. That gives you an amazing advantage.

sogratefultobemormon.wordpress.com said...

hi amy,
you'll do fine. hee hee. it's going to be alright. just do what you are seeking here in your goal. you go girl. and don't forget to breathe and don't forget to remember that you are an awesome soul.

blessings this day,
kathleen :) xoxo

ps. breathe, 1 more, and another, just one more, it's going to be a good change for you. i am excited for you :) i am so glad that i did all my college. never regretted that decision at all hon.